Let’s Chat: How Are You Really Doing?

Take a moment. Breathe deeply, and ask yourself: How are you really doing?

Not the automatic “I’m fine” response that rolls off your tongue when someone casually asks you in passing, but the honest, raw, and vulnerable answer. The one that might sit heavy on your chest or echo quietly in the back of your mind.

I want you to pause and check in with yourself. You deserve it. 

We all carry something. Maybe it’s a past trauma that still lingers or a current struggle that feels impossible to voice. The weight can show up in so many ways: sleepless nights, racing thoughts, emotional numbness, or even physical aches. We tell ourselves we’ll deal with it later, that we’re too busy to stop and feel the depth of our emotions. But the truth is, *later* rarely comes, and the longer we wait, the heavier it becomes.

So, I’m asking you today—right now—to check in with your heart. What have you been carrying lately? What have you been avoiding or too afraid to face?

It can be difficult to admit when we’re hurting. Society often teaches us to stay strong, to keep moving, and not let our emotions “get in the way.” But being strong doesn’t mean burying your pain. True strength lies in your ability to feel, process, and heal from the things that weigh you down.

Acknowledge Your Trauma, Honor Your Experience

Trauma isn’t always a catastrophic event. It can be subtle—the small, repeated experiences that leave lasting scars. It could be the hurtful words of someone close to you, the constant pressure to succeed, or the unresolved grief from loss. These are all valid. Whatever it is, acknowledge it. You don’t need permission to feel what you feel.

We often try to minimize our pain by comparing it to others. But your experiences are yours, and they matter. Start by giving yourself the space to name the trauma you’re facing. This is not about dwelling in pain but recognizing it so you can begin to heal.

Finding Ways to Cope

Once you’ve acknowledged your weight, the next step is to begin lightening that load. Healing isn’t linear and certainly not easy, but there are ways to begin nurturing yourself.

Here are a few ways to cope with the trauma you're facing:

-Give Yourself Permission to Feel

Sometimes, the hardest part is allowing yourself to feel the full weight of your emotions. It’s okay to cry, to be angry, to feel lost. Let yourself experience these emotions without judgment or trying to push them away.

- Seek Support—You Don’t Have to Do This Alone

Reach out to someone you trust—a friend, family member, or therapist—and share what you’re going through. Often, just being heard can provide immense relief. If you don’t feel comfortable sharing with someone close, consider joining a support group or finding an online community that focuses on healing.

-Create Small, Safe Spaces for Reflection

Journaling, meditating, or simply sitting in silence can be powerful tools for processing your trauma. Take just a few minutes a day to sit with yourself and reflect on how you’re feeling. Be kind to yourself in these moments. You don’t need to solve anything right now—allow yourself to be.

-Reconnect with Your Body

Trauma can live in the body, showing up as tension, fatigue, or illness. Activities like gentle stretching, yoga, or even mindful breathing exercises can help you reconnect with your body and begin releasing some of that stored stress.

-Set Boundaries

Healing often requires protecting your peace. Set boundaries around people, environments, or situations that trigger your trauma. You have the right to say no, to walk away, or to prioritize your well-being above all else.

-Practice Self-Compassion

Be gentle with yourself. Healing takes time, and you can take as much time as needed. When negative thoughts about your worth or process arise, counter them with kindness. Treat yourself the way you would treat someone you deeply care for.

Moving Forward, Together

There is power in asking, "How are you really doing?" and power in knowing that it’s okay not to have it all together. We are all navigating this human experience, and needing help along the way is okay. By facing your trauma, giving it a name, and working through it, you are allowing yourself to heal.

It doesn't matter whether you’re beginning your healing journey or have worked at it for years. What matters is that you are here now and willing to check in with yourself.

 So, how are you really doing?

You don’t have to answer out loud, but I encourage you to answer honestly, for yourself. If you need someone to talk to, more tools, or guidance, know that there are resources and communities ready to help you on this path.

You are not alone in this. Healing is possible, and you deserve it.